Help!

There are two mental models you could have where it comes to who knows what, helping people (or not) to know new things etc.  The models will influence how people treat each other, and how efficiently people learn things.

In one model, I am a dragon sitting on top of a pile of knowledge that I have hoarded.  I envy those dragons that are sitting on a taller pile than mine, and literally and figuratively (within this metaphor) look down on the dragons whose piles are shorter than mine.  Why should I help you as that means your pile will grow taller, and so my position relative to yours will be at risk?

In the other model, you and I are stood shoulder-to-shoulder facing a common problem.  For instance, you want to be able to use version control for your code and so you want to learn Git.  Because this is a problem I’ve already solved for myself, I suggest things you could try while keeping in mind that they might not work as well for you as they did for me.  For instance: https://learngitbranching.js.org.

I tap into my memories of learning it and so try to point out the wrong turns before we get to them.  I’m open to learning things myself from you as you learn this thing.  (I remember helping someone with Git and learning from them the excellent analogy of multiple timelines in things like Marvel movies.  This was an insight I gained from helping someone else learn something I’d known for years.) I also realise that there’s a balance to be struck – too little help means you struggle unnecessarily, too much help means the new thing’s less likely to stick and I take away some of your autonomy.

Obviously, it’s not as simple as that – there’s a lot of other stuff going on – but at its core I think it is that simple.

What about this other stuff?  Leadership, formal and informal, plays an important role here.  At its most extreme there’s the management approach where the bottom N% of staff are fired every year.  You think you have a team of 10 people with a shared goal of making so much revenue as a team.  Instead, you have 10 teams of 1 person, where each team has a separate goal of not being fired.

In this case, why would anyone want to help anyone else? It takes you away from your goal, and helps someone else towards theirs, so it’s doubly bad for you.  This management approach might work if each 1-person team can excel on their own, but as soon as you get greater success from collaboration, i.e. people helping each other, this is counterproductive.  (This is simple productivity, on top of effects due to things like personality types, morale etc.)

There are less extreme and more common considerations too.  Do people get noticed if they help others?  Does this help get rewarded?  Dan Terhorst-North has written an excellent article about programmer productivity and how the person who appears to be the worst member of a team might actually be the best (you’re just measuring things in the wrong way).

You also need to watch the long-term effects of help.  Does someone get such a buzz from feeling helpful that they neglect their own work and their own growth?  Can they help, but in a better way?  For instance, block out time where they can’t be interrupted, which forces others to tackle problems on their own for a bit before asking for help.  Or, instead of jumping in with a solution, acting more as a coach, helping the other person develop the skills to help themselves.

Finally, leaders set an example, and its up to them whether it’s good or bad.  Do they help or just direct?  Do they ask for help, or is this seen as a sign of weakness?  Every day is a school day, and what kind of school are you helping to build for your colleagues and yourself?